Three Rules to Live By When Going Through a Divorce

BP_20-CoupleFighting__Caption1. Don’t Fail to Keep Your Attorney Advised of Your Whereabouts.

The only thing more exasperating to an attorney and more damaging to your case than lying to your attorney, is falling off the face of the earth. You’ll look bad to the court when your attorney has to tell the judge that they don’t know where you are, and you’ll wind up paying them for the time they spend tracking you down.

2. Don’t Run Down Your Ex, Especially When the Kids are Around.

From the first court order in any family law case where children are involved, you are under orders not to say bad things about your soon-to-be Ex. This means not saying negative things directly to the kids, or expressing those negative views to someone else while in front of your kids. Chances are, your comments will reach your soon-to-be Ex who can then use the information against you in court. Even more importantly, your kids don’t need or want to know that one of their parents cheated, or is a no good dirty rotten scoundrel. As tempting as it is to paint yourself as the saint and your soon-to-be Ex as the devil, remember that it’s not just your world that is going through a drastic change. Your kids’ world is being turned upside down, and they had no say in the matter. All they need or want is to be loved, and to feel safe at a time when they need it most.

3. Don’t Fail to Understand that a Happy Ex is Key to Your Happiness.

Few things can make your life more miserable than an angry Ex. Whether their anger is with you or they are just having trouble in their new life with money or anything else, you are likely to be the one they take it out on. On the other hand, if you take the initiative to make their life easier, they might be less inclined to look for ways to get back at you.